1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Had her fourth birthday.  Stick her face in the water.  Move up to a new ballet class.  Went to the beach.  Took a road trip.  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


No.  and No.  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?



I guess not.  

4. Did anyone close to you die?



No, thank God.  

5. What countries did you visit?



We stayed in the country but Maria did go to NJ with me in September. 

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Status as a Kindergartner.  Ha!  

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

She started her last day of preschool on August 27.   

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?



I don't know.  Moving up to the next class in ballet.  

9. What was your biggest failure?

Maria is very impatient.  She loses her temper and falls down every other minute.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

She had two ear infections this year, more than anyone has, except Felicity.  Otherwise I think she's okay.  

11. What was the best thing you bought?

She loved her bike this year.  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Maria's - she is an excellent student, she loves school and her teachers and friends.  She was a good ballet student and swimming student.  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?



Maria's.  She can be a real hammer, pecking away at your head until you'd rather remove it than go on.    

14. Where did most of your money go?

Preschool, ice cream.  

15. What did you get really excited about?

She was very excited to start school.  She loves this boy Samuel at school.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Call me Maybe, we all sang it a billion times with Maria.  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:


– happier or sadder? Happier.
– thinner or fatter? Fatter, heavier, but really just growing.


– richer or poorer? Richer, I guess.  

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?



Sleeping in.  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

  

Waking before 7:00!

20. How did you spend Christmas?


We were here, for the first time with all my siblings and my mom.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
She really likes that Samuel.  

22. What was your favorite TV program?


I'd have to say The Winx.  

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?


No.

24. What was the best book you read?
They just started reading Ramona.  

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

She loves Call Me Maybe.  

26. What did you want and get?
She wanted a doll for Christmas and got one.  She wanted a haircut and got one.  

27. What did you want and not get?
She wanted a real live cat for Christmas and didn't get one.  It's practically ruining her whole Christmas!  

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Madagascar III is the only movie she saw in the theater this year.  

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Maria turned four last January and we had a small ballet party, just Carlotta and Emma were here.  We had pink cupcakes.   

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More sleep.  Maria is a good sleeper but she has an inability to roll over and go back to sleep if she wakes even a tiny bit and she gets very grumpy during the day if she's tired.  

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Maria likes dresses and no jeans.  NO JEANS.  

32. What kept you sane?


Preschool.   

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
They like this girl who sings Once Upon a Dream after one of their DVD's.  I assume she's a Disney girl.  

34. What political issue stirred you the most?


NONE.  

35. Who did you miss?


She misses Samuel on Wednesdays.  She misses everything about her school when she's not there.  She misses Carlotta now that she's in Kindergarten.  

36. Who was the best new person you met?


Samuel.  Sigh.  :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.


I don't know.  If you harp at things long enough, your parents will do what you want, just so you will stop talking?  

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.


I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe.  

Cocoa and Carols

So they do this adorable thing at Maria's school for the four and five year olds called Cocoa and Carols, and the 4's class and the Explorers class sing Christmas Carols and you drink Cocoa and watch.  Also, they were holiday festive clothing and little santa hats that they made out of construction paper.  Maria got super sick on Monday, she had an ear infection that made her howl and cry in pain, like this, OWWWWWWW!  OUCHHHHH!  OWWWWWWW-CHEEEEEEEEE OWWWWWW!  It was AWFUL.  Her temperature was 102 even after TWO doses of Advil.  But we went to the urgent care and saw our nice nun friend and she got ear drops and antibiotics and she felt better, she slept and slept.  I was so worried that she wasn't going to make it to her show and when I tell you she had been preparing and practicing, I am not kidding.  So I told her, let's pray that you feel good enough to go, Maria and we'll just see.  She woke up Tuesday morning and felt pretty good, although she didn't seem 100 percent, we got dressed anyway and by the time we got there and she performed, she was feeling good, I'd say.

She was really good.  I of course think that, but I think she really was!  You could really hear her and she wasn't shy, she was just great.  My mom and brother came, too, so that was exciting.  The only one who didn't come was Veronica, but she was in her own classroom.  Here's some pictures of Maria (and me and Felicity):

Showers of Happiness

Maria has started to take showers and it is HILARIOUS.  She is so funny.  Last Saturday she went to her friend Paige's house and she went swimming in Paige's indoor pool.  Apparently, she and Paige took a shower afterward - it is like pulling teeth to get information from that girl, but finally she told us the whole story and it seemed fine.  At first I was like, you took a shower?  WHERE?  But the good thing about someone like Maria is that she always says what's on her mind, so I don't worry so much that anything would happen to her and she just wouldn't tell me. Anyway.  At first it was weird but now I'm excited that she is taking showers because maybe she can do it by her damn self some day soon.

But for now, we go up and I run the water and make sure it's not too hot and then she steps in.  I give her the poof with her bathwash on it because if we use mine, it burns her (poppycock).  She scrubs up and rinses off and poof! it's done and it's so cute.  She seems like such a big girl at the same time as being a little girl.

She has a friend at school named Tori, and she has loved her the whole year.  Lately she has made friends with another girl and I feel like this girl might be kind of bossy.  If she is bossy compared to MARIA, you can imagine, right?  That's pretty bossy!  Anyway, this morning Maria said how she wasn't playing with Tori anymore because this other girl said that Tori's skin smelled.  Since Tori is black, I started to get a little freaked out but I was trying to be cool because I thought if Maria sensed that I was worried, she'd not be honest or something.  I told Maria that Tori's skin certainly did NOT smell and that I didn't want to hear that she wasn't playing with anyone.  I told her that the point of preschool is to have FUN and PLAY with EVERYONE!  She came home today and told us that she DID play with Tori today and everything was okay.  Then she said, kind of quietly, "Tori's skin is brown and mine is white, right?".  AUGH.  She is not even five years old!  I said yes, Tori's skin is brown and your is white and that doesn't really mean anything in preschool, so don't worry about it.  Worry about being nice and kind and playing with everyone.

The school she's going to next year is like 50% African American so it's not like she won't notice that some people are black and some are not but man.  I just hate the thought that some little kid is talking about some OTHER little kid's skin color and saying it smells!  I hope we said the right thing, sheesh.

Breaking News

Maria is sick!  Ay yi yi, this poor baby!  I worked last night and texted Mike to ask him how it was going, I always do shortly after bedtime and he said "not good.  M has thrown up twice".  Since it's not common for him to call himself M or talk about himself in the third person, I figured it was Maria, even though I was SHOCKED because when last I saw her she seemed fine!  She played on the playground after school and then went to her friend Paige's house.  Paige's mom brought her home right after I left for work and Maria said her head hurt, then she threw up all over the couch, took a bath, moved to the chair and fell asleep, and then threw up all over THAT!  Sheesh!  Mike fixed her up and put her in bed and then cleaned the cushions from said furniture and went to bed.  She asked for water when I got home and then she threw that up very soon after.  She came into my bed and I slept with her, while Mike got some rest in her room.  She kept bugging me and bugging me for water and I felt so bad for her I gave her some, and then I felt bad for ME, since she threw up all over both of us and my damned bed, ha!

I think that was it for the night and we had hopes that maybe it was out of her system.  She wasn't warm anymore and when Anthony had it, he got better quickly.  I dressed her for school, she really wanted to go as it was picture day.  Also, she only sees the Love of Her Life, Samuel, on Monday and Tuesday.  She picked out her clothes for Seeing Samuel on Monday on SATURDAY.  She is VERY SERIOUS about him!  So she wore an adorable pink dress with gray and pink argyle tights and then BOOM, she threw up again.  She cried and cried when I told her that she couldn't go to school.  Veevsy seemed fine, so she went and boy were we jealous!

She's been off and on sleeping today, then she woke up from a late nap and asked for water so we gave her a sip, first one, then another, and it seemed okay so she ate a hot dog for dinner and, um, sure it was probably DUMB to give her a hot dog but she was so hungry and she seemed okay but NO she wasn't because she threw that up, too.  THEN she threw up the Advil we gave her before bed so basically we're not giving her any more food or water, ever.  Kidding!  But come on, man!  I hope she is better soon.

I'll say this about old Maria - she is the toughest girl I know.  And when she tries to take deep breaths to not throw up, she is so serious and cute I can't stand it.  She hasn't whined at all, she did cry about not going to school, but she took it like a champ.  I love her so much and I told her today, I would rather take that sickness than have her have it.  And not just for the weight loss, ha!

Halloween

Today I took Maria to ballet, then to Starbucks to see our friend Ali who works there.  The girls had an apple juice and a treat and then we went to my friend Marta's house, where they made and ate their own pizzas, played dress up and had a high old time.  Then we raced home so we could go to our neighbor's house for a tea party playdate, where she stayed for a few hours.  She had to come home at 4:00 and she came into the house, shlumped over and whined and cried about what a terrible day she had.  She didn't do ANYTHING, she said, and then she LISTED all the stuff that she had done today! INGRATE!

She's okay, though.  I mean, she doesn't know she's an ingrate.  She just thinks four things in one day isn't too much.  She's not an INgrate but she is INsane, I fear, ha!

She had a good Halloween, she went sort of crazy when we were trick or treating.  She ran so hard and so fast between houses she kept breaking off her Batgirl boots.  But she had fun, although I hope that next year it's all a little calmer.

She is doing great in school, she's so smart.  Lately she likes to do her math, she'll say "plus two plus two is ... FOUR, right?  Plus three plus three is .... SIX!  Plus two plus five is ... (she counts on her fingers) SEVEN!".  She is writing well and has friends and seems happy.  Not to talk toilet talk, but she is having some trouble staying dry at night so she has to wear a pullup.  I've told her not to worry about it, I just can't keep up with the laundry if I have to wash and dry all her bedding every day.  We have a deal that if she wakes up dry three days in a row she can start to wear underwear again, I guess we shall see.

She's a good girl, I can never get over how crazy she makes me and how great she is, all at once.  Here's some pictures of her on Halloween and from the fall.  I got out my real camera and it's been great, Maria is a HECK of a poser.

Pop!

Look at her, popping out that knee!  She is a funny duck, I don't know where she gets all her moves.  Lately she has been singing, on the fireplace as usual, but really FLINGING around her microphone of choice.  Today it was a stuffed snake.  She is at a friend's house today and I am home with just Veronica and Felicity so it feels verrry quiet without her.

Maria was sick this week, she couldn't go to school on Monday, which was a DAMNED SHAME because she was on fall break last week.  She had a virus, I guess, she was up in the night and took some Advil and then threw up in the morning.  It was awful for her to watch Veronica go to school and she couldn't go.  I took her to the doctor that afternoon, though, and she was FINE and it made me look like an idiot, as usual.

I did get the girls flu shots, though, against my better judgment.  Flu shots seem SO bogus to me, and I know that that makes me a science hating freak but it's like this:  I watch a lot of tv and there are a LOT and I mean a LOT of ads for pharmaceutical companies.  I have a friend who used to work for Pfizer and she went on a LOT of vacations and to a lot of work parties and went out to lunch and dinner a LOT, all on the company dime.  These companies have to be paying money for their ads (mostly for Viagra) during football Sundays, and for all these dinners and lunches and vacations and parties, so I ask you?  Where does the money come from?  Anyways, every time I walk into Walgreens, every single person that works there and some that don't ask me don't I want a flu shot and I think no, no I really don't.  It costs $25 at Walgreen's and you DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT but I think how much does it cost Walgreen's?  How much does it cost the pharmaceutical companies?  The doctor's office?  Whatever, I'm sure I'm wrong and you can't put a price on health blah blah blah but it still stinks, to me.

Maria was fine, though, she started negotiating right away, how much would it hurt, what would she get for putting up with this hurt, etc.  She was just fine, of course.  Veronica is still crying and it was four days ago, ha!  Kidding!  But Maria is a tough old bird, is my point.

She is doing great in school, great with her writing.  Her handwriting is actually not bad!  This time next year she'll be a Kindergartner, gone all day, five days a week and I'll tell you what:  I would be LYING if I said I'm not looking forward to it, for me and for her.

Homeland

This post isn't about the Showtime show Homeland, although I will say that Mike and I just finished season one and I loved it.  LOVED IT!  That's my review.

But what I mean by Homeland is that we went to NJ last week, Maria and Veronica and my mom and me.  We had a good time, but it was hard.  It's hard to travel 700 miles each way with a four and a three year old.  I think the girls were good, really good, but that's still pretty bad, ha!  I took Maria and Veronica to the beach for the first time, it was a beautiful day, we went with my friend Chrissy and two of her four kids, it was great.  Maria is a fearless girl, I'll say that.  She ran RIGHT into that water, and it was the ocean!  Can you imagine being that brave?  I'm not.  I was scared to death, but she did really well.

We went to Cracker Barrel three times on the trip.  Maria really liked the restaurant but she really REALLY liked the store!  We bought her a lot of crap there, I'm sure that's why she liked it, ha!  Here she is at her first Cracker Barrel, she kills me.

We stopped at my cousin Lisa's on the way out there, she lives in PA and we talk a lot via email but don't get to spend much time together.  We were both pregnant with our second kids at the same time.  We went to my cousin Kim's, where Maria petted her rabbit that they have in a pen in the yard.  We went to my cousin Brian's house, where his daughter Kate let Maria play with all her stuff, it was really fun.  My cousin's kids were incredibly nice to Maria and Veronica - my cousins were too, and my mom's cousins whom we saw, but I was especially impressed by teenagers who seemed so nice and like all they wanted to do was play with these little kids.  I grew up surrounded by first cousins who were around my age and Maria and Veronica don't have that, so it really meant a lot that those kids were so nice.

Oh!  I almost forgot that we stopped and got ice cream on the way home from the shore.  There are all these little roadside shops and we stopped at one, my mom treated them to soft ice cream with sprinkles and it was really great.  I'm sure I'm going to forget all the hard times about the trip and just remember the good times and I suppose that's how it should be.  Isn't she so cute?  That's what I'll remember.

School

Maria has started school and guess what?  She loves it.  Ha!  Is anyone surprised?  Today she started bugging me about when we were leaving (8:45) at 7:30.  That is a long hour and fifteen minutes, trust me, when she is asking literally every two minutes.  She never even says Hi when I pick her up, she just starts yelling at me about what she wants to do.  She wants to go play outside, she wants to go to Dairy Queen, she wants to go to Paige's house, ay yi yi!  But I'm mostly just glad she is having fun and doing well.  I am not one bit worried about her going to Kindergarten next year, and that's a big relief.  

She is learning how to write more this year, they use a program called Handwriting Without Tears and I really like it.  She is so funny, SO funny.  One thing they do in her class this year is that you are supposed to walk in with the kid and help her answer the question of the day.  After Maria finds her name tag, she puts it on the board under YES or NO.  So today the question was about a book they're reading calling Daddy Goes Fishing or something and the question was "does Daddy catch a fish"?  So I asked Maria "in the book you're reading (I pointed at it), does Daddy catch a fish?".  NO!, she yelled at me, ha, and slapped that tag right up in the NO column.  Ha!  She's all mad at the Dad in the book for coming back empty handed.  

She's doing just fine, cute as ever, I wish she wasn't so bossy, same old same old same old.  

What's So Great About Maria

What's so great about Maria, you want to know?  Okay, I'll tell you:

• She is very articulate.  Even if she doesn't know the word for something, she will try so mightily to get her point across that you might think her head will blow off.  It's not lost on me, the gift of her talking so much to me.  I understand how wonderful it is, even if it sometimes makes me crazy.  And it doesn't even make me crazy too much anymore because she is a Great Communicator, she knows so many words and she has never forgotten one thing in her life.  She might not remember a word exactly right, but she gets really close most of the time, unlike another Beck girl I know.  Ahem.  
• She is physically so strong.  She never gets tired.  That's something that I always forget about kids, they are just not lazy.  She will run and play allll day if I let her.  
• She loves books, loves to read.
• She writes really well!  She asks me all the time how something is spelled (Happy Summer, Happy Father's Day) and I tell her and letter by letter she writes it out.  Her handwriting is really good and I don't know but it seems like four is a good age for that.  
• She is always trying to figure out the rules.  We'll have friends over one day and I'll tell her to offer her guests something first, I'll tell her ONE time, and then next time we have friends over, she'll remind Veronica, WE OFFER OUR GUESTS-EST THINGS FIRST, VEEVSY!
• She is so loud.  So, so loud.  I could never lose her.  
• She mostly wakes up in a really good mood.  
• She doesn't miss a trick.  She makes me be really honest with her because I have a feeling she'd see right through me.  
• She has a good sense of humor.  I can usually chuckle her out of a bad mood. 
• Ever since my mom took her to get her hair cut, it is gorgeous.  It really bounces and behaves and almost has a little curl to it. 
• She is much, much MUCH better in church than Veronica.  
• What else - gorgeous, smart, good hair, athletic, she's perfect, I guess!  

This Time Next Year

This time next year I will be getting Maria ready to start Kindergarten.  Honest to God, if I could make a deal and go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and have it BE next year, that would be fine with me.  I feel I have spent a lot of time with pre-school Maria and now I think it's time to spend time with SCHOOL AGED Maria.  But, alas, alack, I can't, she is still not even going back to preschool for three more weeks.

She is driving me crazy lately, she wants me to text my neighbor every second of the day but I feel for her.  She just wants to be busy and it's boring, I suppose, to stay here and be quiet while the baby naps. But TOO BAD.  It's boring for me, too, but that's life!

August

What an entertaining blog, where once a month I say what month it is and that I don't know if we'll survive it with sweet Maria.  I can't help it!  I can't know how to stop it, to quote Maria.

Three weeks from Monday she'll start school.  THREE WEEKS.  The other day, Maria's friend Paige stopped by to see if she wanted to go to Charles E. Cheese, but at the same time, Maria's friend Lorelei, our neighbor, came out of her house.  Maria ran out to Lorelei, who she is always DYING to see, and then I called her back and said come play with Paige, who you were just screamingly excited about seeing!  It was hard for Maria, she is just four years old, and she had TWO FRIENDS THERE and she DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL HER EXCITEMENT.  Eventually, she went to CEC with Paige and Lorelei and her brothers hung out here with me and Veronica.

Anyways, the next day I told her that I got her class list for school and, great news, Paige and Tal are both going to be in your class.  Tal is a boy who was in her class last year.  I thought (because I am an idiot) that I could tell her something was going to happen in the FALL, as she calls it, and it would sate her, make her happy for a minute or two.  As usual, and for always, I was wrong.  She started flipping out, saying 'PAIGE AND TAL ARE HERE?  THEY'RE COMING OVER?  WE'RE GOING TO CHUCKY CHEESE?".  I mean, my head was spinning, I was all, what in the what now?  NO!  I am talking about school!  They are going to be in your class?  SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW MOMMY?  LORELEI IS GOING TO MY SCHOOL TOO?  She is crazy.  But she is crazy like a FOX, too, she pretends that if she says things are one way, that's how they'll be!  Then I end up feeling guilty that, that, I don't know, that I can't make it be the end of August?  That I don't take her to Chuck E. Cheese every day?

You know, I had a fun childhood.  We had great birthday parties and we played out in the yard a lot.  We had a playroom and we read a lot of books.  My mother didn't take me THREE PLACES A DAY and I feel like she would have laughed in my face, or done SOMETHING to my face, if I ordred her around!  Yet I worry all the time that I am not doing enough for Maria.  She has me, in short, right where she wants me.

July

Well, we are a few days into July and I am seriously doubting whether or not Maria and I are going to survive this summer.  I'll say some cute things she does, first.  She says waterfall for water fountain.  She said swimming soup for swimming suit.  She sings and makes up songs and is pretty charming and fun, with a real joie de vivre (sp) most of the time.  But when she is bad, I'm telling you, she is HORRID.

HORRID.  It's Tuesday, right?  So.  Here's how our week has been.  Monday morning she woke up, first at THREE, just to be sure we are on our toes.  Then she woke up at 6:whatever the hell, too early, then she demands to know if it's a GOOD time or a BAD time.  Let's face it, it's ALWAYS a bad time!  But if it's past 7:00, I have to smooch her ass and tell her how GREAT it all is, OH, GREAT, I have to say!  It's a good time!  I have no need to worry about such insincerity lately because she has been up well before 7:00 every ding dang day.  Anyways, Monday morning we hung out while the baby napped and then we went to my neighbor's house to play.  Maria wanted to ride her bike so I said she could, but then she started saying to Veronica "I AM RIDING MY BIKE BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A BIKE, SO YOU HAVE TO WALK!".  I told her, Maria, cut it out, just let it be!  I went to put a diaper in the laundry room and I heard her say to Veronica, really, 'quietly', VERONICA!  I AM RIDING MY BIKE AND YOU ARE WALKING!  I had to take the double stroller so Veronica could ride in something.

Then we went to the neighbor's house and it was really fun, the girls are good at playing and all was well.  Then, invariably, we have to leave and Maria started freaking the freak OUT.  She cries and cries and throws herself to the floor and I can't do anything but wait it out.  I am holding the baby, my neighbor has three kids, it's just RIDICKALOUS, as Maria would say.  Eventually we wound our way home.  Last night before dinner, Maria was out in the backyard and started talking to our neighbor kids.  My neighbor has four kids too, they are all about the same age and the Maria-aged neighbor is a girl and she and Maria fell deeply in love and started making PLANS about spending TIME together.  Maria verrrry reluctantly came into the house to take her bath and then ran back OUT to the yard to play before bed.  Both last night and tonight, she has come screaming up the stairs, while I'm trying to put the baby to bed.  It is rough, to understate it.

OK, so last night she goes to bed, and starts talking about meeting her new best friend tomorrow, once she calmed down.  She woke up at 6:20 this morning and I can't remember if it was today or yesterday but she was FURIOUS because she woke up ALONE in her ROOM!  Veronica had woken up early, like 5:30, and I took her downstairs because I didn't want her to wake everyone up.  It's just - it's so strange that she gets so mad so fast!  She's like a four year old Scarlett O'Hara.

I was still sleeping this morning but Mike told me that she wanted to go outside to meet her friend at 6:50 this morning!  Time means nothing!

We went to swimming this morning and she did really well, she held the door for me when I was pushing the stroller (Veronica was in it and I was wearing the baby, Veronica is STILL MAD about the stupid bike thing yesterday).  MY PLEASURE!, she'd scream at me when I said thank you for holding the door.  She did great at her lesson and we played for a few minutes after.  I told her we were going to Grandma and Grandpa's and we'd stop and get a donut on the way.  Everyone fell asleep on the way there and when I got to the stupid Dunkin Donuts, there was a broken down van in the drive thru so I couldn't get a donut.  I drove to my mom's and parked and I got out and Maria woke up and screamed WHERE IS MY DONUT?  I told her what happened and she was okay about it.  We hung out at my mom's for a while and then had to leave because I had a friend coming over for a playdate.  We went home and played and then she went back to the fence to see her BEST FRIEND.  My neighbor ended up coming over, which was great fun, actually but .... Maria does this thing, WHILE she is playing, where she misses the friend with whom she is playing.  She started SCREAMING that she wanted to go to Lorelei's house to play.  She HATED our playset, it was BORING and STUPID!  So we all stood about for a while as she screamed, then everyone left and we went to get Anthony.

She fell asleep on the way home and woke up crying and screaming, which in turn makes Anthony cry.  It is HEARTBREAKING the way Anthony cries, and you want to know why?  Because he is crying because he is sad, not because he is trying to win the Oscar for best actress in a dramatic role.  She cried again and again, finally she ate and was better.  She went out to the yard and came back and asked me if she could go into our neighbor's yard.  She asked me like this:  "Mom.  I have something to ask you and I really don't want you to say no, okay?  OKAY?"  I asked her, did Rachel say you could come over and she said YES!  Then of course Mike went out and Rachel said she just appeared at her back porch!  Sheesh!  It was horrible to get her back for the bath, horrible to get her back after she went out again.  She screamed and cried up the stairs again, kicking the door and crying.  I went in and said if I have to come in again, you are not going to Grandma's tomorrow and you are NOT going in the yard!  I hate to threaten her like that, but man.  I have to exert some control here.  I feel like we have really glimpsed the future of Maria and I do not like what I've seen.  She puts that hand up on her hip and tells me what she wants me to do and I just want to go lie down somewhere and take a long nap.

Tomorrow she is going out with my mom and then I am just guessing but I think she will head out to the yard at some point to see her friend.  Ha ha ha boo hoo I'm not guessing I know she will.  I feel like it's been the longest week of our lives and it's Tuesday.  Tuesday!

That's Entertainment!

This week I took Maria to see her first play, Peter Pan, and today Mike took both girls to their first movie, Madagascar 3.  They haven't seen 1 or 2 but I bet they can catch right up, ha!

Maria did great, just great, at the play.  It was at SEVEN o'clock at night, which is crazy for them but I figured the heck with it, they are sometimes up that late in their rooms so why not.  We went with Marta and her older kids, Maddy and Charlie.  Maria is not exactly a 'live in the now' person, though.  Every time there was applause she'd clap and clap, and, all wild-eyed, say to me, "DO WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW?".  I'd say, NO! and she'd say OKAY, all relieved.  Sheesh!

She got her progress report for swimming and she is still a Pike, or whatever the lowest level is, but I have confidence that she'll be an Eel someday and I wouldn't have said that last summer.  She is sticking her face in the water, and kicking and digging and really almost swimming!  It's exciting.  She is exciting.

This was bad, though.  I wore a dress to the play, it's been over 100 degrees here, which, ugh, what do you wear?  I am just glad I'm not pregnant this summer.  Anyways, I wore a dress that I just bought from Old Navy and we were driving out of the garage and Maria said to me "Mommy, that dress makes you look married".  And I was like, married?  What the heck?  And then I realized what she meant and I wanted to go change right away.  She meant PREGNANT.  She always says that on my next 'married day', I should have a baby boy and call him Fizella, or whatever, I guess I may have said at some point that Mommy and Daddy got married and then I had Anthony or whatever, so she takes married to mean pregnant.  Ugh and she said I looked PREGNANT in my new DRESS!  She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, I told a friend of mine, so she wasn't being mean, just honest.  Sigh.  I'm WORKING ON IT, Maria!

Phase

We are going through a bad phase with Maria, wherein she screams and yells her way through most of the day if things don't go exactly her way.  I keep thinking, really?  Terrible Fours?  Sometimes I find myself afraid that this is actually how she is and I'm worried that no one is going to like her!  Two days this week we were at Marta's house - one time Marta took her home with her after swimming and I went to get her FOUR HOURS after she got there and one time we went over and spent the day and both times she FLIPPED out.  The first time was the worst, she screamed and yelled and fought with me so badly that Marta had to carry the baby out.  She wouldn't get in her carseat and refused to get off the floor.  So I told her FINE, but if we get into a car accident and you fly out the window, don't come crying to me!  It's not my finest parenting moment, but I don't care.  I have fought with Anthony PLENTY about getting in his car seat, I have dealt with his tantrums for two and a half years so Maria is going to have to learn the hard way!

Yesterday morning she woke up and came in our room, laid down in our bed, and then Veronica dared to come in and Maria started HOWLING, she was screaming and screaming, so loudly that she woke up the baby and Anthony.  I didn't care so much about the baby because she woke up fine, but Anthony was really freaked out.  I was freaked out too - I can't take all that screaming UPON WAKING, what the hell?

This morning she got mad because we wouldn't let her eat her breakfast, (which she ordered like this:  "I want crackers and drinking applesauce and water, cold, with ice".  It's like living with Joan Crawford.) anywhere but the kitchen and she was furious.  I was washing bottles and getting one ready for Felicity, who was shrieking away in her high chair and Maria came in, yelling again, screaming and furious.  So I took the envelope of applesauce and chucked it on the table and it went everywhere.  Ugh.  I am not proud of this behavior!  It's just - it's hard to work with someone like this, day in and day out.  She stays up late and wakes up early and sometimes literally wraps herself around my leg when I am trying to walk.  She screams and yells and THREATENS me (if I put her in her room, she yells "when I get out of here I am going to BITE YOU Mommy!).

So.  I am hoping it's a phase.  Because I really love Maria and I really like her a LARGE PART of the time.  But that small part, where she is so bossy and screamy and mean and horrible, feels like a lot.

Death and Dying

So Death and Dying is a phase of Health Class that we used to take in high school, I think our senior year.  However, Maria would like to start this class RIGHT NOW.  JEEZ, she has been asking about death a lot lately.  She's been asking Mike the following questions:

• Do only old people die? 
• Really old people?
• Do we know any old people?
• Is she going to die? 
• Is she really old?  

Ay yi yi!  She is a smart thing and it's hard to keep up with her!  Sunday we were in church and kind of a crazy guy came in and started yelling.  It was all taken care of really quickly, apparently, he's come in there before, but no sooner was the guy gone than Maria came over to me.  She asked me who was that guy?  I said I don't know who he was.  She said why was he yelling?  I said he was mad.  She said why was he mad?  I said there was something wrong with him, that he was sick in his head.  She said if he was sick in his head, why did he come to church?  I said well, sometimes you don't know that you don't feel good until you get there.  Like how sometimes you go to school, I said, and then later they call and say you don't feel good and you have to go home?  She said, did they call his mom?  I said maybe.  Sheesh!  And I was really nervous and having to riff on all these questions, it was crazy.  

We start swimming next week, thank the good Lord.  We went strawberry picking this week, on Tuesday.  She told me on Monday that going to the store was NOT going out, that it didn't count as DOING SOMETHING.  Ha, what can I do?  I've had a good four years where she thought a trip to the store was actually a trip somewhere, but the jig is up now.  

Hand Foot and Mouth

I took Maria to the doctor on Friday and it turns out she had Hand Foot and Mouth Disease, which is also known as the Coxsackie virus.  I called the doctor's office at like 8:01 Friday morning and I swear to the LORD, she was better at like 8:02 and I thought, great, now I have to drive across town and pay a copay for them to say she's fine.  But off we went and her temperature was 98.5, but when the doctor checked her out, he found blisters in her throat.  This explains why she didn't eat or drink much but man - she is a tough cookie.  It seems like everyone I know that's had this has been really sick!  Her doctor told me that she had had it for so long that she'd probably be fine and she was, so that's good.  We had Veronica's birthday party yesterday and Maria was perfectly healthy for it.

I suppose we're lucky that she was healthy for Veronica's party because BOY OH BOY was she difficult.  For the most part, she's fine, but if Veronica weren't as giving as she is, it would have been much more painful.  My mother had bought a lot of stuff for the party, including party hats and Veronica had the purple one.

Look at her face!  Maria wanted the purple one, so Veronica GAVE it to her and took the pink one, but Maria wanted the purple one AND the pink one too!  And it was VERONICA'S birthday party!  There were one hundred incidents like this, she lost at Cinderella Bingo and was FURIOUS that someone else won.  On and on she was like this but in between she was adorable and sweet.  It's hard, I bet, being four and having it be four months past your birthday, which happens to be in the winter, and seeing your little sister have a party.  I mean, I understand it but it's tiring.

Tonight she got sick  but I think it was just from eating too much junk and too little rest.  She fell asleep, woke up, and got sick and said "Now I can't go to school?".  She is a girl obsessed!  Stay tuned, but I bet she's fine tomorrow.  I hope so, she only has this week and next week and then she's finished for the summer.  Then in the fall she'll start PRE-K, which is how I'm thinking of it.  It cheers me to think of it that way, right?  It's not Yet Another Year of Preschool, it's PRE-K!

Sick

So, she is really sick!  She has had a fever of 101 for one and a half days.  What the hecka?  I don't know what's wrong with her.  She is so plucky that you seriously can't even diagnose her, I swear.  We went to my parents' house today and she was so excited to go, we stopped and got a donut on the way and she tore into it but then she took like two bites and gave it to me, sighing.  Then she wanted to eat pizza for lunch, but started and then had to go lie down.  She is so my daughter, though, I can totally remember being like that.  I don't know if my Dad would remember but one time when I was in grade school, I had been sick with the flu or whatever and I thought I was feeling better to go to school.  But when I got to school, I knew it was a mistake, but I tried to press on and of course I threw up and they had to call my Dad to come and get me, and of course he had just gotten to work or whatever and he was mad!  Maria is just like that.  It's like, she's listless but she is beyond plucky, she is working so hard to feel good, she doesn't understand she is making herself worse.  "I caaaaaan't relaaaaax!", she was crying today at my mom's house.  She told me this afternoon she didn't know how to shut her eyes.  Sheesh.  But she did take a bath and I think that helped.  She wore her pajamas when we went to get Anthony and she fell asleep but she also went right to sleep tonight, the poor baby.  I am praying she is better tomorrow.

May

It's hard to believe it's May, already.  Maria is excited because Veronica is having a birthday.  She really seems happy for Veronica, right now, but Lord knows how she'll be on the actual day.  She has this week and two more weeks and she is done with the school year at her preschool.  I have no plans for her to go to camp or anything this year - she and Veronica can take swimming, I figure, and we'll take ballet and that will be all.  Maria is excited because her friend Carlotta is going to be off from school soon and they can see more of each other than they do now.

She's had a great year in school, she's made some friends, she's learned a lot.  She can write her name pretty well and she counts to infinity, or something.  She has an incredible memory.  We went to the library last week and we sang, to the tune of patty cake, Patty cake, patty cake, pizza man, make me a pizza, as fast as you can, roll it, and toss it, and sprinkle it with cheese and don't forget the ______ please! They sang it a few times and two days later she was doing it with Felicity and she did it perfectly.  She's been going to gymnastics and ballet and although she is crazy so often, just as often she is fun and sweet.  It's hard to remember the fun and the sweetness when she is crying and screaming but I am trying.

How, indeed

How DO you solve a problem like Maria?  We had an exceptionally bad day today.  It started fine, in fact, when we got in the car to go to school she asked me, "we were good Mommy?  We listened to you?".  I said yes and she said "so we can watch the movie?".  I've told her that she can't watch a DVD every time we get in the car, just when they've earned it.  She does not miss a trick, I'll give her that.

The problem came, as it always does, when I went to get her from school.  She always wants to go play outside at the playground and I always let her.  But LORD, we stay forever!  I count down and say, we're leaving in ten minutes, five minutes, two minutes, etc., but she doesn't care.  Finally, her friend Josie was leaving so she deigned to leave but Veronica was not as willing.  So Maria is running headlong to the parking lot and Veronica is Prissy-ing her way around the playground.  Some nice lady picked Veronica up over the fence for me, because of course I had Felicity, too and I couldn't get to her and she refused to go to the gate.  Finally, we got to the parking lot and Maria was SOBBING and CRYING, because I wasn't out there with her.  "I by myself!  I byyyyyy myseeeeeelf!", she kept crying.  I finally got them in the car and she was losing her mind, screaming and screaming.  I finally stopped in the middle of the road and said "Maria!  Shut your mouth!" and she did.  She gets insane and I swear to God, it should be illegal to drive with someone like that screaming at you, it's much worse than texting, it has to be.

She would not stop screaming.  I finally said, when we go in the house you are going right to your room, and I took her straight up there, where she proceeded to kick the door and break the hook and eye lock.  In the meantime, I was trying to feed the baby, who of course was hungry and tired because we spent so much damned time trying to get off that playground.  Maria came in and she was crying and crying, she said, "I can't STOP, Mom!  I caaaaaan't stooooop!".  I said yes, you can, and I held her hand and breathed deeply to help her get it together.  Ooh, I was so mad at her but I sucked it up and pretended I liked her so she could get it together.  She stopped crying and of course passed out on the couch in the baby's room so I could feed the baby.  AY YI YI.

Tonight Mike went out to the store while I was putting the baby to bed, which of course took forever because she was all jacked up and messed up from not napping this afternoon.  I had to go in twice to Maria and Veronica and the first time I went in Veronica was stuck in a pajama top.  Maria said "we're not playing, we're not dressing up, we're just trying on different PAJAMAS!".  Everything is a negotiation.  She must say "yeah, but..." twenty five times a day.  I told her if she knocked again and bugged us tonight, we weren't going to go to the library tomorrow but honestly, it's much more of a punishment to me if we stay home.  I might anyway, I have to do something to make her behave and not drive me so mad.  If it were just me and Maria, or even just me with Maria and Veronica, I could and would have NO problem with dragging them to the car.  But because I have Felicity they know that I can't but I am going to figure out a way so that I can carry the baby AND drag them to the car because I have had it.  I hate feeling so trapped and like I just do whatever Maria wants.

I keep thinking it will get better, she will get older and better but also, man, I know it has to be soon.  Then I think she will get better and Veronica will be the devil and then right behind her will be Felicity and just - I mean - I don't know if I can do it.  Tonight when Mike went to the store I told him to look around for some nice lady who looks like she'd want to live here and watch them because I am over it!  But he didn't find anyone, he said.  I bet he didn't even look!

Jerks

So.  Today I was home with the three girls and my mom was coming to get Maria and Veronica and take them out for a Day of Fun.  I took Felicity upstairs for a bottle and a nap and I told the girls, I'll be down in 15 minutes, please stay down here and be quiet.  Two minutes after I went upstairs the phone rang and I heard Maria scream, I'LL GET IT!  IIIIIIIII'LLLLL GEEEEEEEET IITTTTTTTTTT!  She scraped the chair over to the counter and got the phone and bellowed, HELLLLOOOOOO into it.  Then I heard her clomping up the stairs and she barreled into the room, followed closely by her henchman Veronica.  The baby was all, what the hell? and wide awake and Maria yelled at me, handing me the phone, HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, TO MY MOM.  It was the Orthotic place for Anthony, with some long ass involved questions about our insurance.  So I talked to that poor girl, over Maria and Veronica yelling and over the Backyardigans, that Maria turned on.  I finished with her and hung up and I asked Maria to take the phone downstairs and please let me get the baby to nap.  So they left and then I heard the garage door open and Maria screamed and I mean SCREAMED, GRRRAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDMAAAAAA! and then she clunkered down the stairs and I was terrified that she'd fall.  And this may sound rotten but I was scared she'd fall and hurt herself, but mostly I was afraid of the way that she would SCREAM even if she had a PERCEIVED injury.  I hate when she falls down because oh, Lord, the yelling is insane-o.

So.  I lay the baby down and she promptly started screaming but I figured the heck with her for a minute and I got the girls' stuff together and they and my mom left.  I went back up to the baby and got her to sleep but by the time she calmed down, I was late to meet my friends.  She woke up after about a half hour and I went to meet them and I was saying how it's hard for the baby to get any naps in because Maria and Veronica were jerks and they both looked at me like I was a crazy person.  But - but - they were being jerks.  I mean, it's not like I expect much different, I know they are four and almost three years old but WOW, do they have to be so loud?  Maria is so, so loud.  I want to stick my fingers in my ears all the time. I have been listening to Pandora in the car, so I can NOT listen to the Wiggles or whatever the hell and Maria can't stand it.  She talks to me the whole time, "what are you doing?  what are you listening to?  Mom?  Mom?  MOOOOOOMMMMM?"  I love them but they are jerks.

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Ha!  It just came to me to type that title.  Mike posted this picture on Facebook and said "it's hard being four years old and the boss of everyone".  She takes a nap almost every day, she gets up soooo early, she has to. 

Today I was upstairs witht the baby, lazing around, and Mike was getting ready to leave with Anthony.  I heard her yell DAD!  I THROWED UP!  Ugh.  So she couldn't go to school and this was after being off last week!  Nightmare! 

She knew she couldn't go and that's how I knew she felt bad, because she didn't even fight me on it.  She got better and better all day.  When we first got home Felicity took a nap (miracle, angels sing) and I exercised and Maria laid on the couch and commented on my workout.  I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and I took it off and was just in my sports bra and yoga pants and Maria said that none of the ladies on the tv weren't wearing a shirt.  She said "all of their bellies are covered up, MOM".  Ha!  So that was fun. 

Then later she asked if we could make a chocolate cake.  Not cupCAKE, she said, but cake.  So we did, it was excellent fun.  It's nice to do stuff with just Maria sometimes, especially when she is a little worn down from a bug.  When she is full strength, it can be exhausting but it was a pleasant day, as these days go.  She got a little puny right before I left for work and she napped for a long time this afternoon but I think she's okay, I think she can go to school tomorrow.  I hope so, anyway. 

 

Sister

 Maria, pictured here with Felicity and her friend Carlotta, is an excellent big sister.  Veronica could learn a thing or two from Maria, if you want the truth.  She is so funny, she uses this VERY creepy voice with Felicity, she'll say, sounding like the hag in Snow White, "Sweetie!  You sweetie girl, Felicity!  You are a sweetie girl, aren't you?  Aren't you a sweetie girl?".  She cracks me up. 

This week is the girls' spring break week from school.  I made a comment on Facebook about how preschoolers didn't NEED spring break and good GOD everyone went insane!  All of a sudden, I was slamming teachers and how dare I and I was just thinking of myself and blah blah blah.  Here's a tip:  I am ALWAYS thinking of myself because I am NEVER thinking of myself!  I have to give every single thing to these kids (which I do willingly, blah blah blah) but I mean, COME ON!  I'm supposed to care more about some preschool teacher than my damn self?  Ugh, whatever.  I am going to try to have a good week, even though Maria asked me 2000 times today what we were doing this week.  In fact, she wanted to do stuff TODAY.  I always explain, in this very tense tone of voice, that SUNDAYS are days that people ENJOY with their FAMILIES!  She always wants to have a playgroup, and then I say, well, I emailed the mommies and we'll see and she says, right then DID THEY ANSWER?  ARE WE HAVING A PLAYGROUP?  So, sure, who would want a break from that?  WHO I ASK YOU?  WHAT TEACHER HATING PERSON WOULD WANT THAT? 

WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE PRESCHOOL TEACHERS?  Ay yi yi. 

Anyways.  Tomorrow we are going to the haircutting shop, as Maria calls it, so I'll try and post a picture before next week, ha! 

Catchup

Maria is fine.  She is the same as ever.  She is unable to leave anywhere and I mean anywhere without screaming and crying.  It's very wearing.  I've tried everything - telling her how long it is until we leave, talking to her on the way there to explain that we'll have to leave at some point, just - everything.  How hard is it to leave somewhere?

One of the problems is that she's tired.  She has been staying up super late, as has Veronica, and they still get up at the regular time (7:30 ish) and they're beat.  Then around 2:00 every day they turn into demons and they stay that way until they fall asleep, sometimes in the car, sometimes on a tabletop.  It's insane, I'm hoping it has to do with the hot weather and time change and will right itself.

Ted Talk

Ugh, I just watched this video on Youtube.  I'm sorry but I think this woman, Alicia Arenas, is a JERK.  A friend of mine posted it on Facebook and I went and looked at it after I put Felicity to bed.  I'm so mad now and I'm going to try to not think about it because I have to get some rest tonight.  When I saw it on my friend's Facebook feed, I saw in the introduction to it, it said the speaker lost one brother to the world of autism, and one to a terminal illness.  What does that mean, lost to the world of autism?  At first I thought maybe something happened to him, maybe he died, like being hit by a car or something.  That is one of my big fears, because in this book that I read a long time ago, one of the kids has autism and later in his life he gets hit by a car and dies.  Anyways, no, it just meant LOST to the WORLD of AUTISM.  You know, because her brother wasn't THERE anymore.  He was LOST.  Vomit.

Then I watched the video and if she said she was HEALTHY and her brother had AUTISM one more time I was going to make a time machine, fly back in time to this Ted talk and smack her.  Some woman on Twitter, she said, was HEALTHY but her brother had Asperger's.  ASPERGER'S!  God!  If someone with ASPERGER'S is unhealthy, what would this jerkstore say Anthony was?  At death's door?  AT THE DOOR OF DEATHLY AUTISM?  God.  People are jerks.  She is such a patronizing jerk, I can't get over it still.  Anthony is not unhealthy because he has Autism.  Maria is no healthier than Anthony because she doesn't have autism.  LORD.

"Parents", she says, addressing ALL OF THE PARENTS, EVER, OF HEALTHY CHILDREN AND UNHEALTHY CHILDREN, "if you ask your child how they're doing and they say they're doing fine DO NOT BELIEVE THEM!".  Ugh.  UGH.  They're called Glass Children because their parents look right THROUGH THEM because they are so focused on their special needs child.

So.  Maybe Maria behaves the way she does because we LOOK RIGHT THROUGH HER.  Anthony is in school from 8:freaking 30 until 4:freaking 30 every day of Maria's life, practically, while Maria is off to ballet and playdates and preschool.  Maria waltzes in to every room she ever enters and says HI I'M MARIA to whoever will answer.  Maria is going to grow up and go through school and go to college and get a job and maybe get married and maybe have kids and boo hooo hooo, lady, I can't feel too sorry for Maria.  You know what might be worse than being a GLASS CHILD?  Having AUTISM!  And maybe never going to a regular school, and maybe being called a retard and maybe having your sister go to a big talk and tell a lot of people how MISERABLE your EXISTENCE made her.

Anyways, despite being a GLASS CHILD, whom I ignore all the ding dong day while I think about my UNHEALTHY LOST BOY, Maria is doing just fine.  OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST WHAT SHE SAYS!

Nails

 Isn't she adorable?  This is a trippy picture, right?  Her eyes look huge and so do her hands.  On Saturday she asked me if she could get stuff on her nails - she has been painting her own nails with any Sharpie she can find for the last few weeks and she must have put it together that you can go get them done.  She might remember my manicure I had right before I had Felicity, or maybe someone in school has their nails painted?  Anyways, as recently as two weeks ago, I was swearing I'd never take a four year old to get her nails done and there I was, Sunday, taking Maria. 

Our weekends are so long.  She asked and I figured why not.  My friend Jessie was saying that she takes turns taking her two daughters out to eat and to go shopping and how much they liked it and I thought maybe it would be good for us to do something like that.  So on Sunday I told her I'd take her and I did, she was SUPER cute.  The girl that checked us in had two different colors on her nails so Maria wanted it too, pink and blue.  My favorite color and her favorite color, she said! 

She drives me crazy.  The negotiations are INSANE, the constant crying if we can't do what she wants, she never, ever wants to leave anywhere, she falls asleep late in the day and then is awful when she wakes up, on and on I could go about her but I swear I could say as many good things.  She makes us laugh so much, she's so smart, she's gorgeous, she's sweet 100 percent of the time with Felicity and 50 percent of the time with Veronica, she is a good, good girl and we're so lucky to have her.  So I figured what's $10 to get her ding dang nails done?  I'm glad we did it! 

Sunday

Maria's doing great.  She is a very fun four year old, even if she is going to drive me insane with the questions about her schedule.  Yesterday morning, she hammered away at me until I told her what we were doing through next THURSDAY!  I should be happy she goes places, I suppose.

This week I had a playdate with Naomi, a girl in Maria's class.  She is younger than Maria, kind of between Maria and Veronica and I'm sure Maria bosses her around at school.  Well, Naomi's sister Mary came over too and she's FIVE and she's not shy AT ALL and SHE was kind of the boss of some things at the playdate and hoo BOY, can you imagine how that went over?  When not only Naomi but sometimes Veronica was doing what Mary wanted to do and not Maria?  HA!  It was sad, Maria said "they are not playing what I want to, so YOU come up and tell them that have to do what I want".  Ooh, she was crying, so sad.  I told her no, you have to figure it out and take turns, blah blah blah. I feel bad for her because I am a bossypants, too!  I like things to go my way, too!  But they can't, always, and she's learning it.  She's tough enough, thank God, she can be crying one second and completely better the next, so I'm not too worried.

Preschool

I went to a parent/teacher conference at Maria's school, my first.  It's funny, I know I am in denial about being an adult because when I think about a parent/teacher anything, I never think that I am parent, I think about my Dad and Mom, ha!  Oh, they love Maria at school!  It's really nice to hear, I mean, she drives me mad daily but I really do see all the good in her, I swear, but it's nice to have it confirmed by an outside person.

Her teacher said she has two good girlfriends at school, Paige and Josie, but that she is willing to play with other kids too.  She said she is extremely empathetic and kind and that she avoids conflict.  She said Maria is the only one in her class who will put on her own coat and that they are working on zipping it up.  She said they call her the Walmart Greeter at school, because she stands by the door every morning saying hi to everyone and announcing their arrival.  She is doing fine motor skills wise.

She's perfect, of course, but ay yi yi is girlfriend sleeping badly!  I think she eats too late at night and I am trying to not give them too much to eat for an afternoon snack so they are hungry for dinner.  Typically Maria gets hungry around like 4:00 and eats a bunch and then doesn't want dinner, but DOES want a bunch of crap right before she goes to sleep.  She has been having "spaghetti dreams" as my friend Leslee used to call them, waking up in the night, etc.  She told me the other morning that she had a dream that Felicity turned into a bird and flew away.  Anyways, as usual, we are working on it.

Disney on Ice

I took Maria to see Disney on Ice Princess Edition, or whatever it's called, today. My friend Katie had two tickets, and she was nice enough to invite us and BOY it was a treat! I didn't tell Maria until this morning that we were going, because I can only take so much. She would have hammered away at me about it, freaking out every day that it wasn't time to go yet, and I just knew it wouldn't end well. So anyways, off we went, we had a great time. She wore that dress, Laura gave it to her for her birthday and she seriously loves it. LOVES. IT. Laura has always been a good, thoughtful gift giver, but she really hits it out of the park with my kids and I appreciate her for it.

Oh, she was cute at the show! At first, she was sort of shy with me about it, kind of glancing over her shoulder at me to see if I was seeing what she was seeing. Then she started to get into it, and by that I mean, she peppered me with questions about what was happening. Unfortunately, she kept facing the action to talk to me and I was sitting to her left, so I didn't hear many of them. And actually, that was probably best, she was treating it like a movie, and by that I mean, hammering me with questions about what was going to happen. We watched about Princess Tiana and the Frog, then Cinderella, and then Rapunzel. Then for the big finale, they brought out ALL the princesses and their princes and I thought she would explode from the happiness. She was dancing, and so, so cute.

I said it on Facebook, and it's true: we have so many firsts with Maria, it's really exciting. Anthony would have probably not wanted to see Disney on Ice anyway, but who knows? It is fun to see a cute show with your child and have them really get into it. It's even fun to buy a $12 sno cone in a souvenir cup! She is always good when we are out, up until the time we leave. We never ever leave anywhere without her crying and screaming. It sucks and I hate it. I told my friend Marta the other day that it happens all the time, and she said (her kids are older) that I can expect it until she is five or six. But then, I told her, I have to get through it with Veronica and Felicity too? Six years? Six years of dragging some kid through the museum exit, the library, the store, everywhere? Sheesh.

Confidence

Thank God for Maria - she doesn't have any confidence problems, does she? If I was given an option, if someone said to me, she could keep all her confidence AND her volume, or she could quiet the hell down and leave you alone sometimes, but not have such confidence in herself, I'd go for the former and wish for deafness. I'm that good a mother. Ha! She really is amazing. She marches in to the 'haircut shop' today, as she calls it, and picks out her chair, the lady combs and wets her hair and she just sits there, pulling her head this way and that so she can see the mirror better. She kills me.

Here's my Maria story for today: I told her that she could go to the store with me after Mike got home because Veronica couldn't go. Veronica was b-a-d all damned day and I had had it. So she goes to BLEAT to Veronica "Veronica! You can't go to the store cause you bad!". I said, shhhh! You don't have to say anything to Veronica, just worry about YOU! (I say this 1200 times a day). So she WHISPERS it: veronica! you can't go to the store cause you bad!. I said NOOOO! SHHHH! Do not tell Veronica anything! So she walks over and kneels down next to Felicity and she says, super sweetly in Fifi's ear, "Felicity! You know what? Veronica can't go to the store cause she baaaaad". I give! I give!, I want to cry, several thousand times a day. She is killing me.

They don't have school until Monday and I told someone today, I am getting so mad at the preschool for having off for two weeks I want to go and take my Christmas present back, ha! Oh well, tomorrow V has speech and we might get together with our neighbor in the afternoon, then Thursday maybe we'll go to the Y and Friday we are having a little Friday ballet playdate for Maria's birthday. She hasn't asked for a big party so I am not doing one. We're just going to have Emma and Charlie here, her girls from ballet, and their brothers and mothers and we'll have lunch and cupcakes. Maybe we'll go order them tomorrow. It is very challenging to take Maria where she wants to go and still let Felicity nap and hate the car like she does, AND workout AND shower. How I wish there were boarding preschools, sometimes. Kidding! I AM KIDDING!