Sunday, September 13, 2015


Don't things always get better?  They do.  Yesterday we went to the French Market at our church and Maria ran off with her friends, and ended up sleeping at one friend's house who lives super close to church.  So I picked her up this morning before Mass and I said that I had tried to find her the night before because I brought a bag with a toothbrush, a nightgown and clothes and Maria said, don't worry I didn't brush my teeth and I slept in my clothes!  Ha!  She had her first soccer game ever today, she did very well.  I am, as usual, bullish for the future.

Friday, September 11, 2015


Maria is still as bad as ever, and maybe worse.  Mike took off work today because the girls' school has their festival tomorrow and they need to set up today and I had to work so anyway, he spent the day with them.  And they were just terrible.  I talked to him after I was finished teaching EIGHT CLASSES and he sounded more tired and wiped out than I was.  It's so, so so so so SOOOOO depressing and disheartening to take care of them and just get - I mean, it's not that you get nothing in return, it's that they are openly hostile and badly behaved for your trouble.

I got home and Maria asked if she could go to our neighbor's house.  Mike had JUST told her no because she WENT to the neighbor's house and she had to do her homework.  So I reiterated that, I said no, because she is doing homework and Maria started screaming, on and on, SHE IS DONE WITH HER HOMEWORK SHE IS DONE WHY CAN'T I GO WHY WHY WHY AHHHHHH YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE! This is all done with her writhing around the floor, screaming and yelling and - when we are really lucky - pulling the collar of her shirt.  I am unimpressed and I tell her so, go to your room, I tell her and she screams MORE - SHE IS SCARED OF HER ROOM, AHHHHH THE LIGHT IS OFF (MEANWHILE - IT'S DAYTIME!) SHE CAN'T GO AHHHHHH SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM WRITHE WRITHE.  So I tell her listen - if you keep it up, you are not going to go to soccer practice tonight.  She screams and screams, I go and email her coach and say she is not going to soccer.  I feel awful about it because she is on a team, blah blah blah but TOO BAD.  I tell her I emailed him and she screams MORE.  She IS going to practice, she has a GAME on Sunday, she is going to email him back and say she is going!  I said good for you, good luck getting there, dummy.  I told her that she wasn't going to practice and that was a fact.  I said the next thing I'm going to do is say you can't go to the birthday party you are supposed to tomorrow.  The next thing is that I'm going to say you can't go to the French Market at school tomorrow.  Then I'm going to say you can't go to Chess on Wednesday and then NYO on Thursday.  Go ahead and test me, I said.  She has been quiet since but my GOD.

It's too hard, she is too bad.  Mike said half the time what she was screaming about was that Felicity was upset and screaming about something.  How is it fair to have a three year old being a jerk and so her seven year old sister joins in?  What the hell?

I wish things were different.  I wish she were - better?  Nicer?  Not a screaming lunatic?  I'm sure she is a monster I've created.  My brother Larry told me that I was not a good disciplinarian, and since he's never here to see whether I am or not, I assume my parents told him that.  It's disheartening, too, because I feel like I am doing the best I can.  But I am dealing with a lot of people, and Anthony has his own issues and that changes the way I discipline (or don't).  I think sometimes people who think I am not a good disciplinarian are using code for "she should spank them".  I don't know.  My point is Maria is making my life HORRIBLE.  She is good at school and ... that's it!  And she's not even THAT GOOD in school.  Morale is at an all time low, is what I am saying.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Second Grade

Maria started second grade last week, she is doing really well.  She got the teacher that I hoped she'd get, although that's kind of based on nothing except I used to work in the library across the hall from her classroom and I liked the sound of her.  She's great, so excited to see her friends, doing well in school, getting in a little trouble for talking but not too much.  She is going to go to Aftercare one day a week and she is more excited about that than anything.  I have been having some personal drama with getting them set up for Aftercare but I hope it's straightened out now.  I love their school but there is a real feeling that if you don't know about it, you are never going to find out.  This is our third year there and I've never used the aftercare before this year but man, it's nearly impossible to find out anything about it.  I finally gave up and just emailed the principal and said that they were starting this Thursday and that's that.

She is a real pain, getting back to Maria.  Every time we leave anywhere she screams and cries and throws herself to the floor.  If I pick her up at school and tell her no, we are not stopping for ice cream, she screams and cries.  If she is not ready to leave yet but I have to go because I have to get Anthony, she screams and cries.  Yesterday at Target I wouldn't buy her candy even though it was "only" 79 cents, she screams and cries.  I hate it, it's embarrassing and I can't make it stop.  I never do what she wants me to do when she screams and cries about it but I can't take everything away.  Shouldn't this be getting better and not worse?  She is worse than Felicity and she's so, so, SO loud.

Oh well, we will keep plugging away I guess, it's not like there are options.  Onward and upward!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Funny Story

So I never have any pictures of Maria because whenever we go to the pool or whatever, she immediately leaves me and then only appears when she needs money or is mad because I suggest leaving after four or five hours and who wants to see pictures of that?

But the other night I took Maria and Veronica to see Mary Poppins, a local production of a high school theater summer stock company, and I went with my friend Jill and two kids she was babysitting, who are Anthony and Maria's ages.  I was sitting far away from Maria so I couldn't shush her during Act 1 like I wanted to.  So at intermission, I said to Maria, listen - NO TALKING during Act 2.  She said, quick as a whip, "So what if someone says, hey cutie, you look really cute!, I can't even say thank you?"  Where does she get this?  Does she just keep this stuff in her head ready for me?  I do not even know.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

The Pool

We recently joined the Knights of Columbus pool, although we all call it the K of C, but Maria thought it was KFC, but she told me today that Abby told her that it's K OF C, and that KFC stands for Confessional Fresh Chicken.  She kills me.  I corrected her, but really what does she know of Kentucky?  Or Fried Chicken, really?

Anyway, Maria loves the pool.  She is getting so grown up but she's also still a little kid.  She was on the diving board today and she drew my eye to her.  I could TELL that she didn't want to jump in (it's 11 feet deep by the diving board).  So I called her over and she cried and cried and said "I don't want to DO this!".  I said well, don't!  You are starting swimming lessons tomorrow and you will get more confidence and it will be fine.  I said Veronica is whooping it up there in the 3 and 4 feet deep area, play with her!  Kids are impossible, all I hear all day at the pool is "can you do this?" and "I can do this!".  Shut up, I think, none of you can even drive or vote and just a few years ago you were pooping in your drawers like everyone else.  Sheesh.

Anyway, it was prohibitively expensive to join the pool but it was worth it.  Maria is really having the best time and she's so cute, all freckled and tan.  She's sleeping well and being generally cute and fun.  I wish I had a good pool picture of her but she is always away from the me at the pool.  I have instead like 100 pictures a day of Felicity, who is right by my side, ha!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

End of First Grade

Oh, Maria.  She is always so gone I don't even have pictures to post!  She loves to go out and be out and do stuff.  She is a genius, she is doing great at first grade, I have zero reasons to worry about her in second grade.  That's good, right?  She said two funny things tonight, let's see if I can remember them. We were on our way to Pat Flynn's, the restaurant where I used to work, so she could troll for donations for her walkathon which is tomorrow, and we were on our way there and she said to me "maybe if no one donates, we can just rob them.  KIDDING!.  Ha!  She is kidding.  Then she said another funny thing but I can't remember.  She is a joy and a terror to me.  Today Felicity was sick and I said I'd take her for a cookie after we picked up Maria and Veronica.  So we picked up the cookies and we were getting back in the afterward and I asked Maria to strap up Felicity and she moaned, ughhhhhh, and I said nevermind I will do it!  And she said no! I will do it and I said no!  You have to just DO IT you can't complain!  It's hard.  Sometimes she will say something mean and then say "just kidding" to Veronica or something and I tell her, you can't do that.  It's just as mean as if you *weren't kidding*.  She is trying.  Sometimes I think she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, my poor first neuro-typical baby nd sometimes I think oh the HELL with that.  She is fine.  Her teachers love her, she has one million friends, we are crazy about her, she is fine.  She is more than fine!  She is a genius almost second grade girl!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

April 2015

Maria is losing teeth left and right!  She feels a tooth getting loose and then she talks about it incessantly until it gives up and falls out, ha!  She is doing very well in school, she has a lot of friends, she is practically perfect.  She is extremely dramatic and if something makes her mad, she drops to the floor and writhes around doing a St. Vitus Dance.  PS something makes her mad almost every day, usually by 6:45.