Ugh. Today Maria went to a neighbor's house, she and Veronica both, and they were there for a while. Later we looked out the window and we saw the oldest child from the neighbor's house playing with the other neighbor and we were like, um, what's happening? Then Maria came home crying and crying, saying that the first girl's mom said that she was 'resting' in her room and so Maria stayed anyway to play with the little sisters and Veronica. Then I guess she got the idea to go to the other neighbors' house and the dad there said his daughter wanted to play with her friend and, I guess, not with Maria. OH, she was SAD. SAD! Crying and crying, on and on, how rude! she kept saying! Why would they be so rude to me? I don't know, I felt like crying, myself! I went to get Veronica because I felt so strange about her playing there at the house where the mom - I mean, could the mom really have told Maria that her daughter wasn't home? When she was actually just playing with the other neighbor? I don't know but I just felt like I had to take up for Maria.
I said to Maria, listen. I think it's best that you take a break from playing with those girls, let's just take a break. She went on and on about wanting to go back there - back to where they clearly did NOT want to play with her and said you are a fun, smart and great girl and if those girls don't want to play with you, then the HECK with them! Tomorrow you can go to school and you'll be back with your school friends, who love you, and it will be fine.
I don't know what to do with such a situation. I know that I wouldn't lie to a neighbor, for my kid. I think that sets a very bad example and I just - I wouldn't do it! But I also wouldn't say that my kid could only play with one kid at a time. I mean, in a lot of situations, Maria and Veronica come as a matched set and if you can only play with one friend at a time, that would be a problem for us every single time!
I just feel so bad for her - and of course she is not going to be everyone's cup of tea and she can be a pain but it makes me really sad for her when she gets so upset.
Later, she asked if she could go around the block by herself and I said she could. Veronica immediately asked, can I go with her? I said no, she wants to be by herself! and Veronica said okay but can I go? Tonight she is sleeping by herself in Felicity's old room. I don't know. I don't feel like I get any better at this, ever.
Felicity in First Grade
5 years ago
2 comments:
Joanne, this sounds so familiar. I remember when I was growng up, there was a girl next door to me who was a year older and then a girl a few houses down who was a year older. Well, the older girl pretty much controlled who played with who and when. Either I was getting left out, or the other girl was.
I remember my Mom getting so mad, both at the next door girl and at me because I totally still wanted to play with her even though she was being controlling and mean. I guess in retrospect, I didn't really get it. My Mom, of course, did get it and was really irritated by it.
I guess my larger points are 1) girls can be shitty and 2) there's an excellent chance you will be way more bothered by this than your kids will. I think they just don't get the social dynamics of it like we do.
sorry you guys are dealing with that though. Totally sucks.
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