Sunday, March 29, 2009

Story

Here's a story about Maria's and my trip to the grocery store today. She was DYING to go out, grunting and pointing at her jacket so I put it on her and took her with me. I was DYING to get out by myself, but she is too cute when she gets to go out and I needed someone to be cute today, as we have been up AGAIN since 2:30 this morning and we are dying of the tiredness.

SO we went to the store and I got my stuff, I got some Graham Crackers so Maria could eat them and leave my stuff alone and she was pretty good, but we got on a pretty long line when we were leaving so she was waiting and then she was getting sort of impatient and I held her for a minute and then put her back and unloaded my groceries. She was holding my keys but I needed them so I had my little card for the store, so I gave her my wallet but she kept taking cards out of it and was annoying me. I get up on line and the cashier says "how are you?" and I say "fine, but this baby is driving me crazy!", you know, like kidding and making chitchat and recognizing that I had picked up all my credit cards. The checker says, slitting her eyes at me, "they can only drive you crazy if you let them". At this point, she is dead to me and I just want to get out of there, so I started bagging my groceries. THEN she says "you just have to be smarter than the baby".

I said, slitting my eyes right back at this jackass GROCERY STORE CLERK, "awesome! I had no idea I could get my groceries checked out AND mothering advice!". THEN she says "It's just a conversation...Dear Heart". Well. I had had all I could take from this dumb ninny, I mean WHO in the HELL says this stuff? Maria, by the way, was just sitting there as GOOD AS GOLD. So I said "is there a manager I could speak with?" So she stormed away and got the manager to come to the desk and I went to talk to her. I told her that I was sorry, that I really had just come in for groceries, but I thought it was a little much for the clerk to tell me that I had to be smarter than my baby. And then to call me Dear Heart! The manager apologized and said I didn't even have to tell her who the checker was, that she would talk to her and that she was really sorry that it happened. Lord. The really funny part was that I came home and said to Mike "I got into a fight at the grocery store!" and he said, "A fistfight?". I am trying to look at it as a compliment that he thinks that I am the kind of person that would take their one year old baby to the grocery store, EIGHT months pregnant, and get into a fistfight. Like maybe he thinks I'm really tough? But mostly I think he thinks I'm crazy. :)

3 comments:

chazma said...

OMG! You are TOO funny! You could publish that story! Amazing. You definately fall in my Funny and Talented category!

Julie said...

Ha! I love this story! Either this lady had no kids, or she had them like 40 years ago and forgets what it is like. I love that Mike asked if you got in a fistfight. Dear Heart...are you kidding me?

Swistle said...

OMG the "Dear Heart"! And what does she think she means by saying it's "just a conversation"? What does that even MEAN?