One week from today is Maria's kindergarten graduation. After my insane behavior (i.e., crying) at her Mother's Day Poetry Slam, I am worried about how I will be. I am having a lot of - a VOLCANO full of feelings about her graduating from Kindergarten! I don't feel like "oh, no, where has my baby gone", or "time flies", even, but I just - I never had anyone graduate from Kindergarten, even though Anthony is almost NINE years old! I am a mess of a mother. When she was saying her things about what was nice about me or whatever at her poetry thing, I was thinking, does Anthony think anything is nice about me? And, I mean, he made a great thing at school for me, and I do know he loves me but it is just hard to hear nice things from another child, in PUBLIC, and feel like such a freak for being so moved. I wish I could compartmentalize my feelings better.
Anyway. I am really proud of Maria. The other night, we went walking around our neighborhood to see if anyone wanted to sponsor her for her walkathon for school. She was NERVOUS at the first house but I said, "take a deep breath before you talk" and she did, oh, she took such a deep breath I was afraid it would make her dizzy, ha! Our neighbor said, "how far are you walking?" and she said, um, I'm not sure how far it is but my mom said we could walk down this block and then back on the other side of the street. I said I think maybe he means the walkathon and she said ohhhhh two miles. She cracks me up. She is reading really well and she has friends and she did yoga this year, and game club, and she is doing a basketball camp in a few weeks and - I mean, she is really turning into a great six year old girl and I'm so proud of her. I could not love her more.
2 days ago