Lasts

So many lasts this year! Last fall choir concert, last musical, coming up on our last semester of high school.  It's been really fun so far, we had Maria's senior pictures taken a few months ago and even this morning, when it's like 38 degrees or something, it's so nice to look at them and think of where we were, in such warm weather and with Maria really enjoying the photo shoot and appreciating her youth and beauty in the moment.  At first it was funny to me to spend money to have pictures taken, when literally my senior picture is one that my sister took with me standing by a tree in the yard before I went to graduation.  But now I can appreciate what a sweet experience it was to have the time together when we took the pictures, and of course it's just - it's not that often that you can get all glammed up and pose and change three outfits and just - picture something in your mind how it's going to be and then it IS and now we have all these pictures of Maria in this exact moment in time.  

I read something recently that to be optimistic during hard times is an act of rebellion and I am really trying.  Things are hard right now - the stupid shutdown drags on, we are so worried about money anyway and now this - other stuff, it's just hard but I am determined to enjoy this time, to enjoy my life and our lives together.  But it's a challenge! 

Maria is doing great.  I feel like that's all I say on here! But it's true.  Over fall break we went to a campus visit at IU.  We went with some friends of Maria's and their moms and that was fun, it was a beautiful day, that campus is incredible.  It's 2000 acres and it has such history, I could really see her enjoying herself there.  One week later, we went to University of Cincinnati and it was wonderful too! It's so different, just 200 acres compared to the vastness of IU, and right in the middle of the city, super hilly and my favorite part was that the football stadium is in the middle of the campus.  U of C offers us in Central Indiana in state tuition, which is a great deal.  They have a pre-occupational therapy track that I think Maria would really like.  There are six hospitals right nearby and U of C does a lot with co-ops.  It feels a lot more like students are being prepped for life than it does at IU.  At IU it seems like there is a lot of focus on BEING at IU.  It's all very interesting, she is applying to Purdue and Marquette too and we will see what happens.  

This weekend is the musical at school, Maria has a supporting role and she is great in it.  There's just three shows and I know it will be over before we know it, like every other thing this year. 

 

 I mean, I haven't written here for six years but it's funny to me, in the previous post I was talking about my kids doing more housework and guess what - they don't do any! Still the worst! Last night Mike made chicken parm for dinner, we had it with spaghetti and salad and garlic bread and it was super good.  I cleaned up afterward and everyone drifted away and then I realized there was still stuff on the table! It's so depressing to me, everyone leaves me and doesn't even clear the damned salad off of the table, or their glass.  Unfairness abounds.  

Maria is still a great girl.  She still is a busy person, but she doesn't bound out of bed like she used to.  She has been driving since April, she is doing really well.  She has good friends, a nice boyfriend, she is as involved as ever in everything.  It's hard for me to believe she'll be a senior in high school next year, that next year this time, we will be past her last musical in high school, getting ready for her last holiday concert, etc.  I wish she studied more, I hate for her to be surprised in college at the amount of work there is.  She really seems to glide through life, so far so good.  One thing that is new this year is that she drives Anthony home two days a week and that has been really nice.  It's easier on us, for sure, but also it's just nice that they are doing something together.  

I was just thinking if I post today and wait six years to post again, Maria will be almost 23 years old! I am really getting ahead of myself, ha ha, it's hard for me to believe she will be 17 in just seven weeks.  I know it's seven weeks because my friend Emily's daughter just had a birthday and I always remember when friends had babies before me, I am always so jealous of them ha ha! 

Maria has a duet tonight, singing with her friend SJ.  Santa Baby? Or something, it's not the Eartha Kitt Santa Baby, it's a duet between ... oh two screaming singers, Kelly Clarkson and someone? Oh lord I don't know, is the fact.  But she is exciting and she has been practicing a lot.  I hope it all goes well, you know, she is a very capable person but sometimes I can still see how little she is.  Wish us luck! 

Ear Infection

Maria had a rare ear infection last week, she had to stay home on Thursday, which was a bummer because I am home on Tuesday and Wednesday but it's super hard/impossible for me to get a sub on short notice so I had to go to work and even though it was month-end, wonderful Mike stayed home with her.  I suppose if he had to go and I had to go, she could have stayed home on her own for a few hours and I could have made a short day of it but I'd rather not do that quiet yet with her.

It wasn't until she was fell by the fever part that she even said she was sick.  She told me after we went to the clinic that she started feeling bad, actually, 'on Monday'.  Monday! She didn't want to miss gymnastics, or school, so she just waited until she absolutely had to go to the doctor.  I told her, you know, if you told me when you started feeling bad, we could have maybe not missed school, not gotten to the point where you had a fever.  She doesn't care, it's hard for her to slow down.

She made High Honor Roll her first quarter, we had a 'fun time' on Fall Break, we had a nice Thanksgiving, all is well with Maria.  She plays a lot with our neighbors, she has a lot of girls her age to be friends with, she is lucky and they all seem to get along well which is just great.

She wants - well I am trying, as ever to do: Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read for Christmas.  So she wants a hamster or a fish or an iPad.  She needs to wear Vans, sweat pants, hoodies, pajamas.  She wants to read any graphic novel, any DRAMA, and she also wants an Xbox.  Luckily they all do so maybe they'll get one and they'll each get a game of choice, or a remote or whatever.

I learned the other day that she is 4 feet, almost 7 inches which means she's grown an inch and a half since ... many years ago, it seems.  I wonder if she'll ever be a tall or even a medium tall person, because right now she is the shortest in her class.

Here's some cute pictures, the one with the hat was from her Fifth Grade Explorer Wax Museum, where she portrayed Jean-Baptiste de Sable, the founder of Chicago.  Her teacher has them do super varied explorers, beyond the normal/problematic (Christopher Columbus, Marco Polo, Vasco de Gama).  He has them do many women (Amelia Earhart, Sacajawa, as well as many African ones, like Maria's).

Fifth Grade Student

Maria is doing just fine.  I have been going into her Fifth Grade classroom on Tuesdays to help her teacher, who is great and Maria's first male teacher, and it's so nice to see her.  She is really turning into a great student, and she seems to be a good friend, or at least she has a lot of friends who seem to like her.  She is still kind of a slob and she refuses to ever shut her lights, as we say in Brooklyn, but overall she is doing just great. 

How lucky we are, I think all the time, that she is so wonderful.  She gets herself up most mornings and if we wake her, she pops right out of bed.  She gets dressed in her whacky outfits and leaves for the bus stop 25 minutes early so she can spend time with her neighbor and friend, who also likes to get to the bus stop super early! She is always on the go, she usually gets home and races right back out to play with friends, but I mean, in so many ways what her pediatrician used to tell me about her, that her tenacity would serve her well some day, seems to be true.  She is a great girl. 

I am taking the three girls to Brown County State Park next week, they are on Fall Break and I am not, so I am taking them from Monday Afternoon, after I get off work, until Wednesday, before I go back to work on Thursday.  Mike will stay home with them Thursday and Friday. 

Lately I've been thinking I should have her do her own laundry, and Veronica and Felicity can follow.  Maria will be in Middle School next year, and while it's true I didn't go to Middle School until seventh grade, I was FOR SURE doing housework more than my kids do.  I think I am a little bit behind on it but I'm going to start.  It's too much, I am the only one who cleans the house and that is just too uneven.  It makes me deeply, deeply, deeply DEEPLY resentful of the mess makers. 

Well here are a few pictures of our own sweet Maria Kathleen.  Speaking of Kathleen, Kathleen Ann Murray, my childhood friend for whom Maria was middle named, is dead thirteen years this month.  THIRTEEN YEARS that we have been without her.  I think of her all the time, she was so funny and such a true blue friend.  ::claps hands briskly::  okay! back to it!

Ten Years Old

Maria is ten years old, so I imagine she'll be off to college soon! Ha! Kidding! She is still very much a little kid, with all little kid fun and problems, too.  Last night she was SUPREMELY sad about how she had no friends at school, no one liked her, etc. etc.  On Sunday at her Cheer party she won the Miss Spirit Stick award! Same girl! Same girl but one no one likes but also has the most spirit on the Cheer squad.

Oh it's awful to be ten, right? Even if you're Maria.  She puts a lot of her self worth into what other people think of her, which is a TERRIBLE idea, which I've told her over and over.  She wants to be friends with this popular girl in her class, because a friend of hers is also friends with this popular girl.  I think she feels like she is going to lose her friend to this popular girl and she is panicking and acting panicky, and freaking out every second of the day.  Last night I told her, look - you are going to school to GO TO SCHOOL and LEARN, not to freak out over this girl who I don't actually think is all that nice! Maria said, she's not! I said well then why would you want to be friends with her?  I mean, they are in a pretty small Catholic school.  What is the point?, I wonder 90 times a day.  What is the point of sending her to Catholic school if it's going to be so nasty and backbiting? Is there any benefit once they head toward middle school? I'm beginning to think the answer is no.

She is doing so well in school, she had straight A's for two quarters this year.  And it's really hard to get an A in their school, Veronica got a 93 in something and it was a B! We have the same scale at my school where I teach, so I'm familiar with it but man, it's still harsh, right? But Maria is doing so well, she narrated the Nativity Play at Christmas and did such a good job, she loves all the books they are reading, one was about a girl in WWII who hid and saved another girl and now they are reading Sarah, Plain and Tall.  She got a instamatic camera for her birthday and she loves it.  She is also in her own room, which she is really enjoying.

So I mean, except for the fact that no one likes her, she is doing great.  Just kidding, I really hope she is feeling happier about things today.  On to the next decade!

Grade Four

Maria has started fourth grade, next year, as long as we are still at her school, she will start Middle School, how exciting! She is doing very well.  We had kind of a big mess at her school in the beginning.  Toward the end of July, most students at her school get a postcard or letter from their new teacher, this is how they know who will be teaching them.  We know some kids whose parents teach/work at our school and they all told Maria and the others who they had, so everyone was going nuts and I was happy once the cards started rolling in.

Felicity got her letter and Veronica got her letter and Maria got - no letter.  So I emailed the school and asked and I was told who her teacher was.  I told Maria and then when we went to Back to School night, Maria was listed, ALPHABETICALLY, as last on the other teachers list of students.  Maria being Maria, she was kind of freaking out about it and Mike and I were trying to get a ton of supplies dropped off and tend to Veronica and Felicity, especially Felicity, as it was KINDERGARTEN that she was starting.  Anyway, when Maria got to school two days later on Day 1, she was back with the original teacher.  EDITED//

She is doing so well, though.  She is happy and seems to like her teachers (there are two) and it's who she originally wanted so everything is fine for her, which is what matters, right?  RIGHT.  She is doing well in school, she takes tests at the beginning of the year for reading and math to see where she is and she is just fine, although she is doing better in Math than Reading, which is a surprise to me.  I mean, she is in the ninety something percent for Math and seventy something for reading so it's all good but I just - I'm always surprised when they are not exactly the same as I am, ha!

She is playing kickball and doing gymnastics and doing fine in both.  I really don't like gymnastics, I don't think it's necessarily good for her, but she really wants to do it so for right now we are doing it.  Volleyball starts in the spring and I'd love for her to do that, too, we will see.  They all went to the Fair with Mike this year, as I was already at work.  Maria is good and happy and as loud as ever, but I suppose we wouldn't have her any other way!  Here are some cute pictures.

Spring

Spring and headed for summer! It's been so hot.  The other night at Maria's game it was BURNING hot, she was horrified that she had to wear her baseball pants.  Can't I wear SHORTS!?, she asked.  The answer was no.  She has been doing well, at first she was not batting that well but boy, she really  turned it around on Monday at her game.  They also won in the bottom of the sixth, (their last inning), it was great.  I take Veronica and Felicity to Maria's games so I can't exactly what the whole thing, but from what I saw it was good.

Maria is almost in fourth grade! Next year she gets to wear a uniform skirt instead of a jumper.  She wore her jumper the other night to a program and it looked so cute on her, she has been in pants/shorts forever, it was nice to see it again.  She has some eczema on her one shin, it drives us all crazy.  We are trying to remember to put lotion on it every night but it's a pain.  Our nights are getting so short, we barely get home from whatever we were doing and then it's right to bed.  I will be glad when school ends next week, for the first time ever! 

She has had a very successful third grade year, she really makes us proud every day. I try to remember to tell her that because she also drives us crazy every day and I for sure tell her that.  

April

Maria in April.  Pretty much like Maria any other month.  Maria is what I would call UNFULFILLED.  There is very little that makes Maria happy for longer than five minutes in a row.  Is this a good quality?  Can I turn it into one, even if just in my mind?

Lately, I've been working on Thursday nights because I am busy with kids stuff Monday Tuesday and Wednesdays.  I need to work so I have money to do all this damned stuff with them, but they all get mad when I work.  I think they'd like it best if I worked midnights, that way I could be available to them all the time, and still make money so they could do everything they want.  Of course, I would never sleep, but this isn't something that bothers them.  Anyway, if I work on Thursday nights, Mike has to take all four kids to Anthony's swim lesson.  To make this happen, I have to get ready for work before I go get Anthony, and then meet Mike at the girls' school so I can switch kids and race to work.  Mike then takes them all, they all have iPads to entertain them, and then he takes them to TWO different places for dinner.

Everybody hates it.  This morning the first thing I heard when Mike went in to get Maria up was her crying and moaning.  I asked her when she came out, what's wrong? She said she didn't want to go to swimming because she didn't want to take the car, she didn't want to be SQUOOSHED in the CAR!  I said, Daddy said you can take the van, and she dried up immediately and said OKAY!, and swooshed downstairs.  And I think, do other people's kids complain this much? Sometimes I feel like I have to put my head down on the nearest table, just to rest from all the complains that are thrown at me all day.  They are the most unsatisfied people I've ever met.

But, there are good things to being Maria too.  She is as smart as ever, she has friends and is friendly.  She is very good in church, one year after her first communion.  She has moments of being kind to Felicity and Anthony.  She is doing VERY well in baseball, here's a picture of her at her first game, scoring the first run.

February

Sheesh! October and then February! I know it's boring to start every post by saying how long it's been but man, I am terrible at this.

Maria is having a good February.  She is getting ready at school to take her iStep (our standardized tests in IN) for the first time.  I had kind of a run in with a teacher at her school.  Her teacher, the other third grade teacher, sent an email saying that they were getting ready for iStep and they were going to be SUPER busy, with every minute accounted for.  She said they were trying to make it a fun and challenging time and not get them too nervous about it.  This all seemed good to me until I got to the part where if they misbehaved, they would get a warning and then they would get extra homework.  (Screech like when the record stops playing).  I said what? We are supposed to support all this extra work they are doing and make it seem fun and challenging but if they step out of line they get ... more work?  It seemed backwards to me and I said it.  I got a lot of supportive emails from a lot of parents in our class and one back from the teacher, not answering my question about how it made sense to give more homework at a time when they have more homework than ever, because of course there is no answer for that foolishness, but just reiterating her position.  And you should have seen the homework! One hundred multiplication tables which Maria could do it her sleep, by the way, on a bright gold color paper!  Why not just put a big B for BAD on their chest?  Anyway I said that whatever her reasons were, I disagreed and Maria would not be doing any extra homework and we wouldn't be signing it.  I said that I am always supportive of my kids' teachers but I have to be supportive of them first and foremost.  It hasn't come up again, I don't know if they're doing it anymore or not but whatevs! It's taken care of.

Here's Maria at her Valentine's Day party, so cute.

January

In January, Maria turned nine.  She feels older and younger than that to me, time being what it is.  I feel like I remember her babyhood the best, because it was just the two of them and Anthony was 2.5.  When I had Veronica, Anthony was older and it was a loonier time and Maria was only 16 months old and by the time I had Felicity I think we can just safely blame old age.  Ha!  Anyway, her birthdays are always so crazy, she had 16 or 17 girls over, including my three, and they had a fun time, eating pizza and cupcakes.  She is a good life of the party.  Here she is on MLK day, we went out to breakfast because Mike was sick and we were trying to get out of the house.  

and here she is at her party, with the cutout of her that our friend Joe made.  

December

Who can remember?  This is why I should update more often! Maria got a tablet for Christmas, and a Hatchimal.  We had a fun break, I only had one week in common with them and then Mike stayed home the second week.  I took the three girls downtown again and we stayed overnight.  It was fun, they love swimming in that hotel pool.  Here's something I'd like to say after staying in the Hilton Garden Inn downtown two years in a row:  both years I have used Miles from my Chase credit card associated with United airlines and two years in a row the people who work at the hotel have been really crappy to me, as if I am somehow taking money out of their pockets.  But otherwise it was fun, we saw Moana (which we liked a lot, although Maria kept saying, THIS IS INTENSE!), had dinner with Laura, went to the circle and the big Christmas "tree", and to a fun candy store called Rocket Fizz.  

Here's a cute picture of the three girls at the mall, 

October

Time is just flying away.  Mike is home with the girls today on their Fall Break while I'm at work so he might feel differently, ha!  I had Maria's conference and she's doing just fine, she has her lowest grade of 93 in Science, which I think is mostly a talking problem.  She is super bright and she is really doing better this year with the talking thing, so things are good.  She is still driving us crazy at home.  On Saturday, she and Veronica got this idea that they wanted to have their friends over for a Sleepunder, where they don't sleep over but they hang out and play and do everything they would do at a sleepover.  But I didn't want them to have anyone over, I had to work two shifts on Sunday, Maria was going to go to Mass with Mike early on Sunday, I had to go to Mass Saturday night, I was tired and I have shingles and - I just wanted to have a night where no one came over! I feel entitled to this! So Maria kept ignoring me, just making her invitation and when I finally said LOOK! We are not having anyone over tonight, sorry!, they both were crying and sobbing like they were being sent to their death and I am not exaggerating.  What would they ever do if they had real problems?  It ended up to be fun, we rearranged the furniture in their room and we had root beer floats, it was fine.  It always ends up fine.  I saw a thing this week about teenage girls, post its to remind the mom that "her emotions are not your emotions" and "I should be the calm in the storm" and I thought, yeah! That is all true! It's hard to remember though, when you are tired and sick and stressed out, which I always am!  Anyway, here's some cute pictures.

Third Grade

Maria is doing very well in third grade.  She is playing kickball and while they have NEVER won a game, and in fact sometimes have the crap pounded out of them and have to rely on the mercy rule of scoring, she herself is pretty good and she seems to be having fun.  She loves to make musically videos and she loves to sing and do gymnastics.  She is the most persistent, dogged person I have ever met.  She is unbelievably dramatic and she literally cannot stop once she is on a roll, screaming about the unfairness of LIFE! We are working on it.  She is good at math and that's her favorite subject this year, so far.

I don't know, because she is our oldest neuro-typical child, I don't know what kind of 8 year old she is, comparatively.  Sometimes people on facebook say like, that their child is so caring and giving, kind and sweet, a real St. Mother Teresa! And I think, really?  Really they are kind and good and so selfless and so ADULT, at eight?  Maybe it's true but not for me.  I try not to feel bad about it.  I do think she is mostly perfect, I wish she would be better in church, take Communion more seriously but what can I do but keep taking her?  My sister Laura said she saw Maria and Mike in church last night - I had to work during the day so I went early and they went late.  She said Maria was good and never went to the bathroom once.  Is it just me?  Are they just super bad with me?  Because that makes me kind of mad!  Whatever, I should be grateful she does so well and be patient with the rest.  Here are some cute pictures.

Camp

Sunday afternoon I took Maria and Veronica to camp, today I'm going to pick them up at 2:00, so that's not very long, is it?  Since Anthony and Felicity are here too, it doesn't seem too strange, Felicity has been whipped into some kind of Incredibly Needy mode, so I don't feel like I have any more freedom or anything.  But it's been nice, they were both very good when I dropped them off.

One of the things I find with all things school-related and now camp-related is that when you are new, when it is your first year, you are on your own in a way that I never imagined I would be.  There are all those people around who have done it before! It seems like there would be a HUMAN understanding that you'd want to help people who may not know what they are doing.  It has been disappointing to me to find that when you need the most guidance is when people seem to be the least willing to give it.  We signed up the girls and made requests in our registration for them to be with friends from school and they ended up in a cabin together, but with no other girls that they knew.  All the other girls from their school who requested to be together WERE together and they were with a bunch of girls who all seemed to know each other! Why do it that way?  Why leave just my girls, who are seven and eight years old, the youngest you can be and go to this camp, alone and put all these other girls together, including ones who were FOUR years older?  I don't understand it.  I feel this will make us stronger and will make me be nicer to people who are in the same boat as I am.  Anyway.

I have missed them and yesterday I was making myself sick, every time my phone rang with a strange number I was worried it was the camp, saying something horrible.  I'll be glad to pick them up today and I'm sure, I'll be super sick of them by tomorrow this time, and that's parenthood for you, ha!

Here's Maria, the way I left her on her bunk, writing in her journal.  She's probably writing, Dear Diary, my mother said she'd hook me up with friends from school but she has left me completely on my own! Ha!

First Holy Communion

Here are some pictures from Maria's first communion.  I WISH she hadn't run around like a lunatic before her actual communion because her hair is messy but whatever, I'm not worried about it, really.  She really is a good girl and was a good first communicant.