Tuesday, April 24, 2012

How, indeed

How DO you solve a problem like Maria?  We had an exceptionally bad day today.  It started fine, in fact, when we got in the car to go to school she asked me, "we were good Mommy?  We listened to you?".  I said yes and she said "so we can watch the movie?".  I've told her that she can't watch a DVD every time we get in the car, just when they've earned it.  She does not miss a trick, I'll give her that.

The problem came, as it always does, when I went to get her from school.  She always wants to go play outside at the playground and I always let her.  But LORD, we stay forever!  I count down and say, we're leaving in ten minutes, five minutes, two minutes, etc., but she doesn't care.  Finally, her friend Josie was leaving so she deigned to leave but Veronica was not as willing.  So Maria is running headlong to the parking lot and Veronica is Prissy-ing her way around the playground.  Some nice lady picked Veronica up over the fence for me, because of course I had Felicity, too and I couldn't get to her and she refused to go to the gate.  Finally, we got to the parking lot and Maria was SOBBING and CRYING, because I wasn't out there with her.  "I by myself!  I byyyyyy myseeeeeelf!", she kept crying.  I finally got them in the car and she was losing her mind, screaming and screaming.  I finally stopped in the middle of the road and said "Maria!  Shut your mouth!" and she did.  She gets insane and I swear to God, it should be illegal to drive with someone like that screaming at you, it's much worse than texting, it has to be.

She would not stop screaming.  I finally said, when we go in the house you are going right to your room, and I took her straight up there, where she proceeded to kick the door and break the hook and eye lock.  In the meantime, I was trying to feed the baby, who of course was hungry and tired because we spent so much damned time trying to get off that playground.  Maria came in and she was crying and crying, she said, "I can't STOP, Mom!  I caaaaaan't stooooop!".  I said yes, you can, and I held her hand and breathed deeply to help her get it together.  Ooh, I was so mad at her but I sucked it up and pretended I liked her so she could get it together.  She stopped crying and of course passed out on the couch in the baby's room so I could feed the baby.  AY YI YI.

Tonight Mike went out to the store while I was putting the baby to bed, which of course took forever because she was all jacked up and messed up from not napping this afternoon.  I had to go in twice to Maria and Veronica and the first time I went in Veronica was stuck in a pajama top.  Maria said "we're not playing, we're not dressing up, we're just trying on different PAJAMAS!".  Everything is a negotiation.  She must say "yeah, but..." twenty five times a day.  I told her if she knocked again and bugged us tonight, we weren't going to go to the library tomorrow but honestly, it's much more of a punishment to me if we stay home.  I might anyway, I have to do something to make her behave and not drive me so mad.  If it were just me and Maria, or even just me with Maria and Veronica, I could and would have NO problem with dragging them to the car.  But because I have Felicity they know that I can't but I am going to figure out a way so that I can carry the baby AND drag them to the car because I have had it.  I hate feeling so trapped and like I just do whatever Maria wants.

I keep thinking it will get better, she will get older and better but also, man, I know it has to be soon.  Then I think she will get better and Veronica will be the devil and then right behind her will be Felicity and just - I mean - I don't know if I can do it.  Tonight when Mike went to the store I told him to look around for some nice lady who looks like she'd want to live here and watch them because I am over it!  But he didn't find anyone, he said.  I bet he didn't even look!

Thursday, April 19, 2012


So.  Today I was home with the three girls and my mom was coming to get Maria and Veronica and take them out for a Day of Fun.  I took Felicity upstairs for a bottle and a nap and I told the girls, I'll be down in 15 minutes, please stay down here and be quiet.  Two minutes after I went upstairs the phone rang and I heard Maria scream, I'LL GET IT!  IIIIIIIII'LLLLL GEEEEEEEET IITTTTTTTTTT!  She scraped the chair over to the counter and got the phone and bellowed, HELLLLOOOOOO into it.  Then I heard her clomping up the stairs and she barreled into the room, followed closely by her henchman Veronica.  The baby was all, what the hell? and wide awake and Maria yelled at me, handing me the phone, HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, TO MY MOM.  It was the Orthotic place for Anthony, with some long ass involved questions about our insurance.  So I talked to that poor girl, over Maria and Veronica yelling and over the Backyardigans, that Maria turned on.  I finished with her and hung up and I asked Maria to take the phone downstairs and please let me get the baby to nap.  So they left and then I heard the garage door open and Maria screamed and I mean SCREAMED, GRRRAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDMAAAAAA! and then she clunkered down the stairs and I was terrified that she'd fall.  And this may sound rotten but I was scared she'd fall and hurt herself, but mostly I was afraid of the way that she would SCREAM even if she had a PERCEIVED injury.  I hate when she falls down because oh, Lord, the yelling is insane-o.

So.  I lay the baby down and she promptly started screaming but I figured the heck with her for a minute and I got the girls' stuff together and they and my mom left.  I went back up to the baby and got her to sleep but by the time she calmed down, I was late to meet my friends.  She woke up after about a half hour and I went to meet them and I was saying how it's hard for the baby to get any naps in because Maria and Veronica were jerks and they both looked at me like I was a crazy person.  But - but - they were being jerks.  I mean, it's not like I expect much different, I know they are four and almost three years old but WOW, do they have to be so loud?  Maria is so, so loud.  I want to stick my fingers in my ears all the time. I have been listening to Pandora in the car, so I can NOT listen to the Wiggles or whatever the hell and Maria can't stand it.  She talks to me the whole time, "what are you doing?  what are you listening to?  Mom?  Mom?  MOOOOOOMMMMM?"  I love them but they are jerks.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Ha!  It just came to me to type that title.  Mike posted this picture on Facebook and said "it's hard being four years old and the boss of everyone".  She takes a nap almost every day, she gets up soooo early, she has to. 

Today I was upstairs witht the baby, lazing around, and Mike was getting ready to leave with Anthony.  I heard her yell DAD!  I THROWED UP!  Ugh.  So she couldn't go to school and this was after being off last week!  Nightmare! 

She knew she couldn't go and that's how I knew she felt bad, because she didn't even fight me on it.  She got better and better all day.  When we first got home Felicity took a nap (miracle, angels sing) and I exercised and Maria laid on the couch and commented on my workout.  I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and I took it off and was just in my sports bra and yoga pants and Maria said that none of the ladies on the tv weren't wearing a shirt.  She said "all of their bellies are covered up, MOM".  Ha!  So that was fun. 

Then later she asked if we could make a chocolate cake.  Not cupCAKE, she said, but cake.  So we did, it was excellent fun.  It's nice to do stuff with just Maria sometimes, especially when she is a little worn down from a bug.  When she is full strength, it can be exhausting but it was a pleasant day, as these days go.  She got a little puny right before I left for work and she napped for a long time this afternoon but I think she's okay, I think she can go to school tomorrow.  I hope so, anyway. 

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Sunday, April 1, 2012


 Maria, pictured here with Felicity and her friend Carlotta, is an excellent big sister.  Veronica could learn a thing or two from Maria, if you want the truth.  She is so funny, she uses this VERY creepy voice with Felicity, she'll say, sounding like the hag in Snow White, "Sweetie!  You sweetie girl, Felicity!  You are a sweetie girl, aren't you?  Aren't you a sweetie girl?".  She cracks me up. 

This week is the girls' spring break week from school.  I made a comment on Facebook about how preschoolers didn't NEED spring break and good GOD everyone went insane!  All of a sudden, I was slamming teachers and how dare I and I was just thinking of myself and blah blah blah.  Here's a tip:  I am ALWAYS thinking of myself because I am NEVER thinking of myself!  I have to give every single thing to these kids (which I do willingly, blah blah blah) but I mean, COME ON!  I'm supposed to care more about some preschool teacher than my damn self?  Ugh, whatever.  I am going to try to have a good week, even though Maria asked me 2000 times today what we were doing this week.  In fact, she wanted to do stuff TODAY.  I always explain, in this very tense tone of voice, that SUNDAYS are days that people ENJOY with their FAMILIES!  She always wants to have a playgroup, and then I say, well, I emailed the mommies and we'll see and she says, right then DID THEY ANSWER?  ARE WE HAVING A PLAYGROUP?  So, sure, who would want a break from that?  WHO I ASK YOU?  WHAT TEACHER HATING PERSON WOULD WANT THAT? 


Anyways.  Tomorrow we are going to the haircutting shop, as Maria calls it, so I'll try and post a picture before next week, ha! 
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